Most grandparents love their grandchildren and embrace their unique role and position of influence in their lives. In fact, most of us wish that we could make more of an impact and have a deeper relationship with them than we already have.
And if you’re a Christian, you have the added burden and desire to see your children and grandchildren in heaven. You also want to share life lessons that God has taught you through the years to save them from harm and help them to live a fulfilled and godly life.
Deuteronomy 4:9 – NIV
“Only be careful and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.”
This section of our Keeping Families Connected site is dedicated to helping grandparents to strengthen their relationship and maximize their influence with their grandchildren to leave a godly legacy of a faith-filled life. And to overcome any obstacles that might interfere with these goals.
In a perfect world, you live near your grands, get along great with them (and their parents), and you’re involved in their lives on a consistent basis. If that’s your situation, go directly to the list of Fun and Creative Ideas below to learn how to maximize your impact on their lives.
Challenges to Staying Connected
In a not-so-perfect world, you may have challenges staying connected to your grandchildren. The most common challenges are listed below:
- Proximity
You may live far away from your grandchild. In another city, state or country. Although this can limit your ability to interact with your grands, there are many fun and creative ways to stay connected remotely. - Limited Funds
Often grandparents are on a fixed income and have limited funds. This impedes their ability to buy big gifts or travel to see their grands if they live further away. But there are many things you can do that are free or inexpensive that your grandkids will love. Read our list of Fun and Creative Ideas below to find out more! - Generational Gap
Let’s face it. Our grandkids may love us but there is a sizable gap in our ages. It’s up to us as grandparents to initiate conversations and activities that engage them. (We provide you with a list of fun and creative ideas to help with that!) - Cultural and Spiritual Differences
Our culture is quickly becoming more secular, confusing, and dangerous. Increased youth suicide, violence and gender confusion are manifestations of this trend. Young people are being heavily influenced and indoctrinated with ungodly teaching and philosophies. Many of those influences attack our Christian faith and the foundation of the family that God created. - Your Perspective
Some grandparents hold the perspective that “they’ve already paid their dues” and it’s up to their kids to raise their own children. Retirement allows more opportunities for travel and leisure, but it also creates more time to invest in and enjoy your grandchildren. Don’t miss that small window of opportunity to build into their character and eternal destiny before they reach an age where they’re too busy with jobs, friends and activities to include you in their life. - A Strained Relationship with Your Adult Child
This difficult situation can result in limited or no access to your grandchildren. The parents are the gatekeepers, and you’ll need to do your best to address any issues causing a rift in your relationship with them to gain access. If things can’t be resolved with the parents, you can still pray for your grandchildren and communicate with them in other ways. Learn more below.
Resolving Issues with Your Adult Child
If there’s a division between you and your adult child that’s limiting access to your grandchildren, and you know that forgiveness of an offense is necessary by one or both of you, go to our How to Forgive Someone post to learn how to resolve this issue. If you’re less certain what’s causing distance between you, and you want to gain a better understanding of the potential causes, and to develop a plan to restore or strengthen the relationship, go to the Discovery Phase page of this site. Once you’ve digested the Discovery Phase information, you will likely gain powerful insights and tools by going to our Indoctrination page. These tools and resources will help you to understand the issues dividing you and provide specific steps that you can take to repair the relationship. - Prodigals:
You may have a grandchild that has walked away from their faith. Or perhaps they’ve never shown an interest in having a relationship with the Lord at all. In severe cases they may have walked away from their family and are living a life of crime or addiction. These are heartbreaking scenarios but there is hope.
Our loved ones may reject us, our message and the hours we’ve invested trying to help them, but they’re defenseless against our prayers for them. Never stop praying. The following scriptures give us hope.
James 5:16
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.”
Mark 2: 3-5
“And they came, bringing to him a paralytic carried by four men. And when they could not get near him because of the crowd, they removed the roof above him, and when they had made an opening, they let down the bed on which the paralytic lay. And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.”
Notice in this last passage it is the friend’s faith that Jesus responded to, not the paralytic himself. The same can apply to us when praying for others, especially our grandchildren. - Estranged:
You may be cut off from contact with your grandchildren because of a severed relationship with their parents. This is especially common after a divorce involving parental alienation. PA is when one parent turns a child against the other parent. This often includes the targeted parent’s extended family members.
If you’re experiencing PA, go to our Parental Alienation page to find out how to deal with this painful issue. But regardless of the reason you’ve lost contact, here are a couple of ways you may want to consider reaching out to them indirectly.
A. Set up a family website for them.
When you’ve been cut off from your grandchild, you need a unique approach to communicate your love to them. Creating a family website for that child is a great way to do that. There are many benefits to this strategy that are covered in detail on our Create a Family Website page. You’d be amazed how much you can share through this type of platform.
B. Set up a YouTube or Rumble channel and post videos for your grandchild. You may find this easier than setting up a website, but you’ll be limited in the content you can share. A website allows you to use a variety of content not limited to videos.
Fun and Creative Ideas
Below is a list of fun and creative ideas to stay connected and build into your grandchildren’s lives. Many are free or inexpensive and can be implemented regardless of where you live. You can have fun and make a difference at the same time!
- Be intentional about scheduling and spending time with them
- Target school breaks for longer visits and sleepovers
- Call them
- Text them
- Email them
- Send them letters with old family pictures
- Mail a journal back and forth with messages from each other
- Read to them
- Sleepovers
- Watching a sunrise or sunset
- Stargaze
- Build a back yard or beach campfire
- Play hide ‘n seek
- Watch funny cat or dog videos – people fails etc.
- Watch a comedy movie, family oriented standup comedian or AGT
- Make and send them videos
- Record your voice reading them a story and send them the book to read along. Our grandkids loved it! Here is an example: The Night Before Christmas Recordable Edition: A Recordable Storybook
- Record a fun message or silly video and send it to your grandkids, or post videos online for them to watch – start a channel on YT or Rumble and show vacations, hobbies, share wisdom, life experiences, lessons learned etc.
- Zoom, facetime, google meet with them – this can be tricky with young children because your adult children will have to be involved in the scheduling
- A pajama movie marathon
- Look through old photos
- Karaoke
- Teach them how to sew or knit
- Teach them how to cook or bake (favorite meals, fresh bread, pies, cakes)
- Make pizzas – let them pick their favorite toppings!
- Make your own ice cream
- Teach them how to use hand tools
- Build something together
- Teach them (or take a class on) self-defense
- Teach them to play an instrument
- Put together a puzzle
- Go for a walk
- Bike Riding
- Go to a local or state park – hike, have a picnic, fly a kite, or throw a frisbee
- Go fruit-picking
- Board games
- Card games
- Ping-pong
- Billiards
- Darts
- Bowling
- Archery
- Throw axes
- Golf
- Throw a baseball or a football
- Go to a batting cage
- Hiking
- Horseback riding
- Fishing or sailing
- Tennis
- Pickleball
- Croquet
- Bocce ball
- Ski
- Go-carts
- A trampoline park
- Build a snowman or a sand sculpture
- Go out for dessert
- Putt-putt or glow-in-the-dark mini golf
- Go to an amusement park
- A zoo
- An aquarium
- Go to a play
- Go to an scape room
- Go to an aviation, car or railroad museum
- Create a fun scavenger hunt
- Attend their school sporting, musical or awards events
- Hand out homeless lunches together
- Volunteer as a family at a soup kitchen or foodbank
* Always get parents’ permission for any activity where an accident could cause injury
Sharing Your Wisdom and Faith
This is by far the most important area that you can use your power as a grandparent to influence your grandchildren. Depending on your circumstances and the age of your grandchild, some of these ideas can be implemented in person, by phone, video, a website, a YouTube or Rumble channel, email or letter.
- Pray for them
Examples: for their salvation or sanctification, friends, potential spouse, God’s purpose for their life such as occupation or how He would have them serve others, and protection from all evil - Tell them how you’re praying for them
- Ask them how you can pray for them
- Pray with them
- Let them see you living your faith
Examples: Let them see you pray, reading your bible, feeding homeless, going to church, being involved in a small group or bible study, helping others, discuss how you make decisions (give examples) – let them see you tithing, etc. - Teach them about God’s love for us and them
- Tell them you love them – unconditional – nothing can ever change
- Teach them that God will always forgive us if we confess our sins and turn away from them, but there are still consequences to sin and bad decisions
- Share stories about how God has worked in your life
- Share miracles you’ve seen Him do
- Share stories of missionaries and the miracles they have experienced
- Encourage them to memorize scripture – you might try having them read along silently while you recite a chapter or verse that you’ve memorized “just to be sure you’ve got it right” – even if you don’t do it perfectly, they will know that you’re working on it, and they may just get inspired!
- Write a letter to your grandchild sharing how much you love and appreciate them and share some positive traits you see in them – let them know you are proud of them and who they’re becoming
- Talk with them about important practical topics like, the importance of choosing the right spouse, how to choose the right spouse, how to handle anger biblically,
- Teach them the difference between conviction that comes from The Holy Spirit, and condemnation which comes from satan
It’s our hope and prayer that this information has empowered and motivated you to develop a deeper and more meaningful relationship with your grandchildren. They are a gift from the Lord and He’s put you in a special position in their lives to point them back to Him.
We are praying for you and your family. Never discount the power of a grandparent’s influence. Go out there and make a difference and have fun doing it!
We’ve included a PDF of the ideas below.
Additional Grandparent resources
Legacy Coalition at: legacycoalition.com
Their mission statement is:
“At Legacy Coalition, we help grandparents grow in their biblical role through our resources and events so they can have a greater spiritual impact on their family.”